Monday, October 14, 2013

Assertive in Silence

Sometimes, the best way to assert yourself is by becoming silent, especially if you have already spoken your mind quite a bit but they still turn a deaf ear. People know exactly how they are treating you, you don’t need to tell them. In fact the more you "pursue a dialogue," the more opportunity you give them to make excuses and rationalize what they are doing in order to mitigate their guilt and wash their hands.  It becomes even worse when they start to make it sound like you are being petty and troublesome, and consequently all of a sudden you seem to be the one at fault.  Insult is thus added to injury.

"Go ahead and keep doing what you're doing, but you are not fooling anyone, certainly not me."  That is the message you send when someone tries to pull your leg and you respond with quiet dignity, neither pleased nor angry, but civil, always civil, uttering no more than a few simple "sure" or "fine." 

With your silence you signify that you are not interested in playing games, stooping to their level of immaturity.  They can have things their way, for instance they might be reneging on tacit agreements and breaking real promises, or even trying to bully you perhaps, because they are in power and your are not.  But at least with your silence you signify that you are not blind to what’s really going on, and that you are intelligent, and essentially still one step ahead. 

Balance is always restored in time.  God does not sleep. 

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