I
read somewhere that Christmas is one particular time of the year that people
get very stressed and depressed. It is
because Christmas brings with it all sorts of beliefs and traditions that tell
you that you SHOULD be happily spending time with ALL the people you love and
who love you back -- in other words it is the time for perfect and complete
reunions. Also, Christmas is SUPPOSED TO
BE a time for buying gifts and new stuff and special food, in other words it's
a time when you are supposed to have LOTS of things. Consequently, if your loved ones are abroad
or somewhere far, or if you yourself are the one abroad, your sense of
lonesomeness and corresponding grief are heightened -- even if being abroad
actually means that you have been blessed with a means of livelihood and the
ability to provide for your family back home.
And if you also happen to not have the spare cash to spend on the very
many extra expenses that Christmas requires, you end up feeling so deprived and
poor -- even if you actually have enough money to meet all your regular
needs. Feeling lonely and thinking that
you are poor can escalate to feeling ashamed and thinking that you are a
failure. Thus, depression ensues. But it’s all really in the mind. Hence, if I may, let me share my own
experience and coping mechanism regarding this.
Most
people believe that Friday evenings are meant to be spent to go out and have
fun, as a way of enjoying some well-deserved leisure after a whole week's worth
of work. I used to think that way as
well, especially when I was still in my early twenties, and therefore I would
end up feeling depressed whenever I watched my colleagues leave the office on a Friday evening to go
have some fun, while I stayed behind because I decided to do some more work. It was awful.
But then I stumbled on a very helpful technique. The technique is this - If Friday arrives and
you find yourself unable to participate in everyone else's fun and nightlife
because you still have to work or do something else, then all you have to do is
think and pretend that it is Wednesday, and instantly your frustration will
disappear. Try it, it works.
The
same thing applies with Christmas, if you keep telling yourself that Christmas
is that time of the year that you should be surrounded by loved ones and have
lots of everything, then you are really setting yourself up for the risk of
stress, frustration, disappointment, and depression. On the other hand, if you tell yourself that
Christmas is the day that our Lord Jesus was born, and that just like Easter
(the day that He resurrected) you don’t really have to do anything special
apart from praying and/or attending Christmas Mass (just like Easter Mass),
then there is a good chance that you will not be depressed, and will instead be
quite happy. It also greatly helps if
you sit down and contemplate on (probably even make an actual list of) all the
blessings you really needed and received -- and all the prayers that you said and were answered -- in
the past year. Contemplate as well on
the many more blessings that -- you know in your heart -- God will still give
you in the coming year. Try it, it
works, guaranteed! That is how I coped
during a couple of years that I happened to be abroad (because of work) and
could not come home to the Philippines during Christmas time to be with my
family. It’s really all in the mind.
After all, the gifts of the Holy Spirit include "wisdom" (Isiah 11:2, and 1 Corinthians 12). Thus, to be spiritual is to be rational.
On
that note, let me greet you a very Merry Christmas! And I pray that you be happy, with or without
all the gifts, parties and reunions.
Cheers!
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