Single-Blessedness

Just the other day, somebody asked me, "Why are you still single?"

I said in reply,

"I'm single because that is how life turned out to be for me. That is the best choice I can make for myself given the way that life has unfolded for me."

"Being single is not abnormal, it is not an aberration, therefore people shouldn't have to ask single individuals why they are single, in the same way that people don't ask married individuals why they are married.“

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I do understand the motivation behind the question. From an anthropological and historical standpoint, there was a time when having a spouse and children were the best way to cope with life and to prepare for old age. Moreover, there was the compelling need to populate the planet.

However, nowadays, due to advances in technology (n.b., particularly medicine), a person like me can remain lucid and productive way into my old age and until the day I die. Hopefully therefore, I won’t be needing anyone to take care of me when I am old.

Moreover, it is precisely because I am single and childless that I am able to contribute a bit towards the rearing and upbringing of my nephews and niece (so that they can get all the advantages in life that they can possibly get, in addition to all the advantages that their parents have already given them). And it is also because I am single and childless that I am able to focus on my career, make a bit more money than the average guy, and donate a few pesos to charities -- including orphanages.

In other words, although single people like me do not give birth to new life, we however help take care of the lives that already exist. It is not enough that we give birth to children, in order to complete the equation we should also be able to keep them alive -- physically, intellectually, and spiritually. And that is where the single aunts, uncles, teachers, etc. help out, that is where we come in.  God knows, there are countless families out there that would be in a much less comfortable state if not for the frequent support and intervention of single aunts, uncles, and relatives.  

Come to think of it therefore, single people like me do have children, it’s just that they are not biologically our own.  

And let us not forget, it is the single individuals who normally and ultimately end up taking care of their aging parents, so that their married siblings would not anymore have to be saddled with that responsibility and can simply focus on raising their own families (which, again, their single siblings are also helping them with).  "Taking care of aging parents," is in itself, a most valid justification for the existence of the single population.  That alone makes them deserving of respect.

So, why am I still single? It’s because not all of us can be married. If we were all married and with children, we will all be primarily concerned with our own children and thus there will be too much competition. Nephews and nieces will not have single and cool aunts and uncles to lean on. Orphans will have much less hope for support. A lot of aging parents will end up abandoned and neglected.  And ultimately, figuratively speaking of course (or maybe not), the planet might just implode. 

God, in His infinite wisdom, assigned some of us to the role of single-blessedness, because it is actually necessary. Indeed, in my personal opinion (n.b., without prejudice towards the married spiritual leaders of other faiths), that is precisely why Catholic priests, brothers, and nuns are single -- It’s because that is the best way that they can optimally do their job of serving both God and fellowmen.

Therefore, instead of asking us,  
“Why are you still single?” 

It may be better if people simply say to us,  
“Thank you.  Thank you for being single.”

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